I mean, I like my job, youth coaching. The kids can be a nightmare but that's the worst it gets. I can't complain about the hours, and I stay on top of any paperwork which means I can relax later in the week. It was hard settling in at first of course, but it's fine now, so I suppose I like that.
I'm coaching and playing hockey too. Obviously I love that.
I have money! After 20 years of being a student I finally have actual money. But then there's the car, and the hockey membership, and the rent, blah blah blah... so... you know.
So I suppose I do like it. I'm way less stressed than I used to be as a Grad Student, and I enjoy what I'm doing. So then, why am I not sure?
Here are the things no one tells you:
At school /uni, you live with friends, see them every day. It's easy to stay in touch and to catch up. Now, I'm booking friends 2 weeks in advance, squeezing them in around work, finding that there aren't enough weekends in a year. So sure, I have a job, money, a roof over my head, and for what?
Once you have the job, all you can do is wonder about what's next. Disney says I'm waiting for Prince Charming. In fact everyone around me is pairing off, marrying, and having kids. I can sense the people around me are waiting for my entry into the generic relationship-wedding-house-kids progression. Am I the only one who doesn't want to do that right now? I haven't seen everything yet? I still need to go to China and Australia and Peru and New York? You can't do that with kids. Is it ok if I do that? Go travelling for a few more years instead of making a family? Would anyone mind if I didn't rush? Because everyone else is rushing! Stop it!
So... as you can probably tell, I am now another 20-something questioning the point of everything. I think this is quite common but because people's Facebooks are such a bloody lie it's impossible to know. But if this sounds familiar, then, well you're not alone pal.
No comments:
Post a Comment